Well I started back to work on Monday, blah! I knew it was not going to be easy, but I had no idea how hard it was going to be. Then it was even harder to leave him today, (tuesday) than the day before. I called Mom at like 5:45 or something crazy this morning just a sobbing...it feels like my heart is being torn from my chest everytime I hand my baby to the sitter. She is wonderful, don't get me wrong, but it does not make it feel any better. I should be the only one caring for him....i want to change all of his diapers, feed him, comfort him, rock him to sleep, kiss his little sweet head, and sing to him...not a stranger. Then to make it worse when we get home he nurses for like a second and falls asleep for most of the evening, he wakes up long enough to nurse and get a bath then he is back out for the night.
These people that cannot wait to get back to work, to be free of their child must truly be cold souls or something, I just cannot fathom that feeling or desire to leave your child. Jack was a really difficult baby the first 5 weeks of his life...and still I would rather have that than have to leave him. My mom has been an amazing support and I could not have made it through these past 2 days without her advice, encouragement and love! Also, thanks Aunt Cecelia for calling...it is nice to still feel part of the family even though we are so far away.
With love,
Lisa
Lisa - I am thinking of you and praying for you all the time - I am soooo not looking forward to going back to work next week. I am with you I can not imagine anyone who would want to leave their child to be free - children are a blessing and I love my little man more than I thought I could ever love someone. Hang in there - you are an amazing mom! Love ya lots! Sandi
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